This week it was my mom’s 50th birthday. When I proudly told a lot of people that my mom was turning 50 many were shocked and bashful. The response would be a soothing “well she looks younger than that”. This left me thinking and I couldn't help but wonder, when did aging become a bad thing? When did we stop proudly displaying our new age on our cake’s candles? Often, people tend to associate growing up with negative ideas of decay and uselessness . I’ve heard too many times the comments on how one must “treasure their youth". Too many of my uncles have talked about all the things that they wished they had done before they got “too old”. While being young is something special on its own, we often forget the joys that growing older brings too. We place too little value on human life after a certain age, and it’s time we start to change that. Along this idea, it is also important that we change the value we give to that “third stage” of life entirely. That is why this week’s Sunday Spread dedicates itself to all the little joys that have to do with growing older and grandparents.
Burns gives us a wonderful reflection on how we can work towards positive aging. Starting with the story of a 90-year-old woman who for her birthday performed “a perfect dive and then joined a raucous game of Marco Polo” (Burns, 2023). Using psychological explanations, she explains how we must reshape our thoughts on aging. This is to help us lead a healthier life.
“If you associate aging with only loss or limitation, “you’re not getting the full picture of what it means to age,” said Regina Koepp, a psychologist who specializes in aging. Instead, she said, “shift your attention — look around for role models, see who’s doing it well.”
One of the special parts about growing up is gaining perspective on the past and the future. Many of our parents and grandparents have lived in a world that seems unaffiliated with our own. While this can be intimidating, this means that they hold a very special knowledge of their own. Abuelas de Plaza de Mayo is a non-profit created in response to a 1976 crisis. After the military coup in Argentina in 1976 more than 30,000 people of all ages went missing. Such a time was a "reign of terror". Amongst those who disappeared were pregnant women who would give birth in captivity, and children. Those looking for their loved ones started to unite in spirits of collective strength. In 1977, a group of woman decided to take action and formalize their search for their missing family. With time, this organization has helped solve 137 cases. Restoring many of the lost children to their families and identities. As the Abuelas better say it, they have facilitated the warm loving hug of grandmothers for many. These women who are now known as the “abuelas” are testaments to their power resilience. They are also a key example of the strength that time can give you.
On a sappy note, Zoe Gottusso has recently published a song called “Superpoder”. Gottusso has since dedicated the song to her grandmother. It is a loving testament to the crucial role of grandparents in the lives of children. Emphasizing the wonder of such a stage of life. With a beautiful guitar-strung melody, it is a musical delight. Gottuzo’s voice highlights the soft tenderness of the song. Due to the song being in Spanish though, I’d like to impart a little wisdom, one that my grandmother gave me about musical language barriers. When listening to music, don't listen to the words only. Learn to feel it- the instruments and the melody, are voices too. Embrace yourself in it. That's how she tells me she listens to all the music of languages she doesn't speak.
Author Richard Morgan paints a tender portrait of his relationship with his grandmother. “My grandmother isn’t just old.” he writes, “She survived being kidnapped in Ireland. She was bombed into homelessness three times during the war, living on the front lines along the white cliffs of Dover. She met Queen Elizabeth II when Elizabeth was still a princess. At 20, my grandmother walked herself through the snow to birth to her first children, twins, on Christmas Day.She is now blind and arthritic yet still knits blankets for the local hospital’s premature babies. Even at 93, she buys books to keep up with her French” (Morgan, 2022). He describes her as a strong and wise woman who brings forward years of life to admire and aspire towards.
“If wisdom is knowledge plus time, she embodies wisdom’s next evolution: kindness.”
His descriptions of his adventures in getting to know his grandmother are both insightful and hilarious. They tug at one’s heartstrings and appeal to a sense of nostalgia.They tell the story of an incredible woman whom Morgan learned he had often misvalued. However, he now writes about how he finds joy not only in her love but in her interesting life advise. In a reflection about himself growing older, he describes his grandma as a role model. “I hope that if I make it to her age" he reflects, "I might look upon a faraway hill — a surprise Napoleonic fort — and climb it (she was 85 then)".
I end this tearjerker of a story by sharing with you my favorite anecdote that Morgan tells. "Another time we saw four coveted apple turnovers at the grocery after days of them being sold out. I got us two. She told me to get all four. When I said we should leave the other two for other people, she said “Two are for us now. And the other two are for whoever we find ourselves to be tomorrow”."
There is something special about lifelong friendships. Those friends that you are certain you will know your lifetime and will grow old and gray with. In 1985, photographer Karen Marshall began documenting the life of then 16-year-old, Molly Brover and her friend group. Yet, things would soon take a turn. “Ten months later, Molly was hit by a car and killed while on vacation in Cape Cod”, Marshall recounts, “I was devastated — but resolved to keep the project going. I realized that Molly would remain 17, and the rest of the girls would become women. This inspired me to continue to document the girls in various ways over the years to come”. The project titled “Between Girls” amasses hours of footage and hundreds of photographs. It creatively demonstrates a narrative of growing up. Some interesting aspects of the multifaceted project include a collection of triptychs. Such show photographs of each of the girls as they grow up and go through different life experiences such as motherhood or getting married. "Between Girls" is a beautiful and graceful portrait of growing up, female friendship, and the wonder of building memories.